Physical Re-education by Nazreen Tajul Arif
Provided by THINK

Nevermind what the government thinks; is there a line that we should personally draw with regards to public displays of affection?

Ten years ago, I was a student at one of the premier co-ed boarding schools in one of Malaysia’s northern states. Then, boy-girl relationships were greeted with hesitation and reluctance. Students feared that their peers would endlessly tease and gossip about them if they paired up. Group discussions would consist of the boys and girls sitting as far away from each other as possible. Each would flinch over the slightest brush from the other gender in public (whether it was accidental or not), and the girls would sometimes giggle or make a big fuss over the matter.

But behind closed doors, it was a different situation altogether. Couples as young as 13 could be seen canoodling each other and holding hands—‘exploring’ the human anatomy, supposedly. In my rough estimate, probably 70 percent of the batch of 1996 had gotten frisky with a member of the opposite sex at some point or another.

That was 10 years ago. One can only imagine how much more biologically curious teenagers have now become.

GETTING TOUCHY ABOUT TOUCHING
Cuddling, a peck on the cheek, a friendly bear hug, holding hands, a gooey smack on the lips—they are all ways of showing one’s affection and love to another. In the international bestseller Why Men Don’t Listen and Women Can’t Read Maps, husband-and-wife team Allan and Barbara Pease state that “the hormone oxytocin is known as the ‘cuddle hormone’ and it is released when someone’s skin is gently stroked or they are cuddled. It increases sensitivity to touch and the feelings of bonding, and is a major factor in a woman’s behaviour towards babies and men.”

The Peases go on to say that for married couples, cuddling is one way to recreate “the courtship routines that existed early in the relationship”, giving couples a “hormonal hit—the feeling that has often been described as a ‘natural love’ and ‘high on love’.”

So the benefits of inter-body contact are undisputed. But in public? As far as Malaysia is concerned, that’s quite something else.

Under the current Act as ruled by the Federal Court in April this year, City Hall Kuala Lumpur (DBKL) has the authority to enact bylaws to prosecute people for indecent public behaviour. So according to this new ruling, my brother putting his arms around me, celebrities giving each other a friendly peck, and Datuk Seri Rafidah Aziz giving Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad a big, tearful hug during last year’s Merdeka Day celebrations would all land us a court date and the possibility of a hefty fine, or a jail term, or both. 

Of course, it is hard not to mention the notorious Siow Ai Wei and Ooi Kean Thong incident as the starting point for this fracas. The couple were slapped with a summon on 2nd August 2003 by DBKL officers for indecent public behaviour at Kuala Lumpur City Centre Park. Siow and Ooi, who have since split up, claimed they were only holding hands, and lodged a report against the two officers on bribery allegations. While the case is still pending, voluntary groups such as arts activists Katagender have organised public protests and lent their support to the ex-couple, issuing statements that the Government should really channel its energy toward fighting corruption rather instead of combating gropers and lip-lockers.

While the Federal Court was careful to state it was not ruling on whether hugging and kissing constituted indecent behaviour, the Mayor of KL was even swifter in stating that the act would not be imposed on tourists. So foreign visitors are free to French, stroke, rub and fondle each other, and the Malaysian Government would just turn a blind eye on them.

Great. Come and visit us, world.

ROMPER STOMPER

If you are ever going to love me
Love me now while I can know
All the sweet and tender feelings
From which the true affection flows
‘The Time is Now’, Robert Paul Moreno

I have to admit, affectionate gestures in public came as a bit of a culture shock for me when I first arrived in Edinburgh as a precocious 17-year-old.

During my first few months in the UK, I was nauseated by the sights of the very obvious and open displays of love—people were snogging everywhere! Summers made it worse, as everybody was out in the park to have a good time, which meant showing off each other’s toned physiques and engaging in endless romps and rubbings. My friends and I were so gobsmacked that our ears turned red in embarassment. Though we had watched such scenes on the telly, they certainly didn’t prepare us adequately for such up-close-and-very-personal encounters

But I’ve grown up since, and even though the scenes back here aren’t as 18SX-worthy as those of the Scots, they are not entirely out of order with our culture. As Marina Mahathir accurately said in her weekly column in The Star newspaper, “affection is a Malaysian trait.” Malaysians are generally warm and friendy. We hug and kiss when we meet and part ways. My family and I have always openly demonstrated our love towards one another by hugging, holding hands and uttering ‘I love you’s all the time. In many ways, we are similar to Marina’s family (except that we aren’t constantly in the spotlight nor do we always have our pictures and dad’s comments in the papers).

So, to subject our expressions of love to a group of ‘Morality Enforcement Officers’ who are waiting to pounce and scrutinise our every move is undeniably disturbing. But the lines of decency also vary from person to person, and it must rest on the individual’s respect for his or her fellow human to personally set a limit to public gestures of affection.

Love can be private and public, but it is never inappropriate. And it should be kept that way.

Original article can be found here

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